Mentions Barbie plus what happens when you're giving information on the phone and the other person doesn't have a pen.

So what's everyone doing? All those starry eyed volunteers who went to Peru/Guatemala/Argentina/Thailand. I've been checking up. If they're not still there, they're back home, looking for jobs. Slotting back in to normal life, enjoying proper tea/bread/chutney/dutch cheese/chipotle paste/pizza for a while until it's completely mundane again.

 All but completely broke, job comes first, you come completely consumed by the thankless hunt, then you're really happy to get one, then it's just business as usual.

Does that sound horribly negative, bitter and bleak? I don't think it is. 

I've got a sparkly new job. It's a step up in charity communications and I'm moving to London for it. It was that or more, longer term work or volunteering abroad. I'll occasionally wonder if that was the right call but, actually, I made it on returning from Peru because although in many ways it was an exciting adventure and I was the envy of my friends, it was still work and, in many ways, it was harder. 

As the new and different becomes the norm, you have all the same worries, doubts, insecurities and thoughts about the weekly shop or bills or, more likely, where to get the best rehydration salts. The weather is better and you can go surfing every day then off to the mountains for weekend adventures.At the same time, your digestive system never feels quite right, there were rats in the kitchen, you face daily racism and the constant threat of being robbed or kidnapped. 

Don't get me wrong, all of that is worth it, it is brilliant and you have some great stories but why should being back home be much different? What do we do when we're away? We make time for EVERYTHING. Never mind TV and the same pub every week, you go exploring and try new things. Admittedly, where I'm from it's harder because it's expensive and it rains a lot. That just requires a bit more creativity.

So there's a been a drought,  a double dip recession and an awful lot of rain but:

Over the past few months, I have been on a motorbike, I've flown a kite, been strawberry picking, salsa dancing, boat racing, went to a wedding where I didn't know a single person and ate jelly beans during the ceremony, got involved in a film version of Much Ado About Nothing, been a witness to a legal document signing in a hotel room, drunk gin and tonic in a hammock in the park whilst watching the sunset; seen comedy, theatre, music, the Olympics, ate street food from three different countries all at once, hung out with a group of pirates on the Bristol docks, HUGGED TIM MINCHIN 3 TIMES, been swimming in an Oxfordshire lake and sung along to a song called Everybody's Itching for a Party in the Kitchen sung by a guy in a tiger sitting by a campfire.
I could go on. I won't though.

You know that person you are when you're away, that really great open-minded, adventurous person who makes friends everywhere they go? If you were Barbie, this would be Malibu Barbie (or super tanned Hawaian shirt clad Malibu Ken). 



Do not make any mistake, I am not suggesting anyone let their inner Malibu roam free. Actually, she's really annoying. Smug, self satisfied, sits in the same bar telling the same stories to backpackers and tourists about all the great stuff EVERYONE ELSE HAS DONE TOO.

I had a few Barbies when I was little. my favourite one was casually dressed Artist Barbie. Now, I'd love to read in to this (having gone on to do an art degree) and pretend I'm especially grounded and valued Artist Barbie's talent which outshone the other dolls' sparkly dresses even in her jeans and paint palette t-shirt. But, honestly, she just had really brilliant hair.

Anyway, for argument's sake, let's say it was at least something to do with her talent, potential, lack of vanity etc. 

Malibu Barbie has a place, and it is not at home (or preferably not anywhere). The only difference between Malibu Barbie and every other Barbie is a brightly coloured bikini and Malibu Ken's little plastic surf board.

Artist needs no themed outfit. Artist is real. (yes, I know still a Barbie but a Barbie in overalls!).

I'm aware there are a lot of holes in this analagy but the point is... something about potential and not having to be in Malibu. Something like that!

Artist Barbie would say:

"My god! There's just no time! I have to stop watching TV, make some obscure blend of tea and decoupage a lampshade!" 

"Today I met a guy on a train and he's 94 and he's just travelling around tying to see as many places as possible - he's bee going for 3 months. How cool is THAT"

 "LOOK at this crack in my wine glass, it looks just like a giant squirrel on top of the Empire State Building."

So, to try and conclude this car crash Barbie analagy life observation thing; go bake some cupcakes, try and make the longest ever dominos trail, do something in a boat or walk/climb up somehere really high, do something for charity and write someone a letter - a proper letter. THEN you can wish you were on a beach somewhere warm (and you won't, you'll be too tired).

What else did the travel blog have that this doesn't? 
Amusing anecdotes about cultural differences. 
Actually, they're everywhere:

Just another day at the office. I take a phone call.

Caller says (with 'My Girl' by Otis Redding playing loudly in the background)
"Hello, I'd like to talk to someone about volunteering in the charity shop please"

"OK, I'll give you the number for the charity shop"

"Oh, right, I just need to get a pen"

*a bit of kerfuffling over pens and pencils ensues*

"Oh no that's a pencil, hang on"

*presume caller goes off to get a pen and wait for a while (meanwhile I'm thinking: what's wrong with a pencil for taking a number?)*

*still waiting and notice there's breathing on the line... maybe it's a cordless phone... wait a bit more*

*still breathing*
......
*breathing*

Eventually say:

"Hello?"

"Hello."

"Oh, I thought you'd gone to get a pen."

"Yeah, I did."

"Right, I didn't realise you'd come back..."
*silence*
"So are you ready to take the number?"

"Yes."

"OK.... "

(This picture was stolen from here: http://convozine.com/8846-pierre-hauser/19875)